fix me...

"otak sedang merasionalkan emosi...."

p/s: the song explained all. hormone's messing up! i hate it!

Le Gra, Westlife.

*SMS received*

Kak Jan: Did you know Westlife is spliting?? It's all over the news and twitter!

Me: Huh?? Where's the news?  (blurrrr) [replied.]

Kak Jan : Twitter, si Liza tweet semalam. [ in reply]

Me: *speechless + mate buntang xleh tido dah*

That's the news that i've received after one week of meeting them live and face to face in Malaysia.

This thing has been speculated long ago and now it's been confirm like really confirm. I haven't write my fan account during the Malaysia visit and yet this coming out them. Truthfully, i'm speechless as in not that-speechless-wanna-cry one but more to speechless; 'this fast? I've just saw you last week and you have this decision all along during the Asia Tour?'

[Taken from their official Facebook.]

Splitting in boyband is not a new thing to be cried for as it happens. Like Kak Jan said, boyband do expired, like what happen to Blue, Take That, or Boyzone. People already talked about it since Bryan left the group in 2003, but they still strong till now. After reviewing the official statement from them, it can be concluded that this is the right time for them to end it themselves as a matter of giving spaces for a new embark-able individual journey for everyone. I believe Shane wants to do business, Nicky might want to venture as an entertainer as he did before as a DJ or MC, Kian might wants to focus on his new family with the born of 'Twinkle" in anytime, while Mark, i have no prediction for Mark (LOL). The reason is too strong as it's for everybody sake not because of they arguing or somebody tried to leave the band again.

It's been 12 years since they have been together, and Shane said they have come this far just because they share the same teenage dreams long time ago and together they want to achive that dream. Westlife is not only a boyband, but it's a growing family with 5 people at first, come down to 4 and now they have expend with the juniors family coming in one after one. It's hard to maintain of course with the growing up children who needed the attention, i think it's a wise decision made by them. It's surprise to see how calm i am dealing with this matter. Not to say i'm not sad, but to what extend should i show or express my sadness over this matter. Better be happy and thinking the positive outcomes from all this matter. If fan feel the lost, then they themselves would be even worst.

I can't explain every inch of what contribution Westlife has turn me so far as it hard to describe through words and i'm not good at it. All i can say half of what i am today is actually what i learn with them, it can be said i grow older with them as from a child who will memorize every lyrics of the songs, bought every albums that they released and how to integrate them in everyday life routine. The name Sha Filan would not exist if there's no Shane Filan, as people always wondering what is it all about. There will be no girl with good English in the primary years, (i repeat primary years not now ) who tried to translate every words that came out from their mouths, or even memorize their countless dialogs in the DVDs. It's all affect me after all. 

I'm not regret for what i've sacrificed and done as a fan. Even better after i finally met them especially Shane Filan in Malaysia earlier this October. It's like a dream come true with unimaginable encounters with them all along while they're here. I come to notice that Shane and Nicky are very friendly, Kian can be a little moody and Mark can be both. Of course i will post up my fan account for that as it's a lots of things to be shared and i also have promised to my concert partner, Dhiya to put it up.

Well Westlife, though it's the end of WESTLIFE, but it's already live it up in me. I already used to the wordings, the names, the songs, and even the hazel eyes that Shane has.LOL. Not to mention, the last gift that he left me before he flew off from Malaysia. i would always believe that once you're a fan, you would always be one no matter how many others come and go. If one day you're going to make a comeback just because you're already broke, don't worry i will still support all of you like before. hahaha.

Till then,

Le Gra, Go Deo,
 Sha Filan xxx

Life of a fangirl...

p/s : Not saying it is happening to me, just to say it's happen. ^^

C.o.n.t.a.g.i.o.n

Blogging isn’t writing. It’s graffiti with punctuation

Dr. Ian Sussman:

Contagion Quote

p/s: Nope! i havent watch the movie yet...lalalala...

sweepin' the blocks

Notice the so-called-long-meaningless post down there? Yes, that's the effort in welcoming a new mood to the word w.r.i.t.i.n.g. It's like a taboo words for now, as it's been a long time i don't write anything, be it an essay the hardest or even a blogpost the easiest. And i realized, writing is very important not only  to express yourself but more towards my current life right now that requires me to write up about everything. Well maybe it's not engage in a full mode but sooner or later it will as my study already starts today [grapssss...].

So, as for the start in removing all the-so-called w.r.i.t.e.r.'.s.b.l.o.c.k, lets starts with something that i like and wants to talk. It's easy and you will get a very colourful and video-lize post [ekeke..bragged] Though it's annoying to have that kind of post and somehow i'm positive i will get a negative feedback upon it, why don't you just enjoy what's been presented as i am.

The semester has ended by the way. i mean the teaching period. Now, the students are busy preparing for their finals and English will be their first 'killer' subject that they will face tomorrow. If you read this, then Best of Luck to you guys! Tho, i don't think they will...ekekeke. Up to the last class, the only comment that i got from them are still the same responses from the first class, "i'm worried about my English". "Am i going to fail?" " Are you going to help us?" "How am i going to write an essay?" The evil me would say, now we're in the last class and you asked me these kind of crap? It's not their fault actually. As for me, learning English is like a life-time learning. There are always something new that you can learn everyday if you allow yourself to be exposed to lots of English. It's just you really need passion in order to do it. Lets say you want to improve the language by reading English newspaper everyday, then how long will it last? As for me, i honestly said i rarely read English newspapers due to maybe i am too busy [busy la sangat!] or i find it very boring. That's why i said, try to find something that you are enjoyed with like watching tv or movie but make sure it's in English subtitle. Then you may be able to grab something out of the dialogue. For example, one day i heard Azeem shouted from the toilet calling for my father, "Abah, is that you?" in English! I mean the 6-years-old Azeem! I don't know if he got it from watching 'PowerPuff Girls' or 'Chowder'. That's is the development i'm talking about. It's a simple phrase, but how many of you can say exactly the same phrase when you're 6 years old, hands up, i'm not either. If you used to the language, it will naturally comes to you in any form, be it in writing and speaking. The exposure itself is very important. Chitravelu once said in her book, babies learn to speak by listen to what's been said to them. Like you always said to a baby, 'papa' 'mama', of course the words would registered in their brain and they're able to pronounce it in the first place.

Okey, now drop the theory in there as it become serious suddenly...hehe..i'm happy that i'm been able to write this long, up to this level but still im learning and improving myself for better and worst. Of course there's a jealousy in me when i read others blogs as they have so many things to talk about and their instructions are perfectly well explained in wordings which i'm lack to. Hey, a person can change if she wants. All she needs to do is removed all the blockage and stop procrastinating then you will see a brand new you. You may be look so ordinary on the outside, without you realize your own potential as yourself.

Note to self: i'm happy invigilating exams! i'm happy invigilating exams! sigh...~~

who is he?

Who is he?

Sexy back..ohh  -JT-

If anybody who’s with me maybe know who is he and as for others maybe they’re just wonder why im too stick to him. And for people outside the circle also maybe recognize him as the man with the golden hair and cold blooded characters as he portrayed in his previous dramas. Or how people asked me why on earth you like him, the one who’s so ‘keras’ when acting. However, it ain’t enough to evaluate a person through a series that he stared in. But, I respect others opinions as it’s theirs plus I have no blood-related or what so ever to the person but only the relationship of a fan with the idol.

Even my parents now know how to pronounce his Korean name without stuttered, of course in a way to tease me or to trap me with the ‘gotcha’ tone if I’m so secretive about something. Have you wonder who he actually is other than just by seeing him on your flat screen been somebody else’s character or just by know his name? What makes me no difference with other fans who value him so much as he is now?

Way before being an actor, he is a singer and a leader in a boy band called SS501 and up until now he still is a singer. They are an established idol groups since debut in the year for 2005 and up until now. As most people know him from his drama Boys Over Flower (BOF) (yes, he’s the one with the golden hair) and then moved to Mischievous Kiss (MK) (and yes, he’s the one with the cold-blooded attitude), I knew him during BOF period. During the BOF time, I don’t fancy him as the ‘Ji Hoo sunbae’ but my attention of course focused on the lead that time, Lee Min Ho.

After watched BOF, one of my friends actually passed me a bunch collection of ‘We Got Married’ show. Generally, it’s a TV reality show where an idol could be a singer or an actor/actress been paired up to be a husband and wife for a period of time. During that time, they need to act as a married couple who live together during the show but still continue career as usual. So he’s participated in this show and had been paired up with a female singer, Hwang Bo. Then, I know who actually this Kim Hyun Joong is. He is not who he is in those characters. 

[most of the clips in here are from WGM years, so maybe you can have a glimpse how the show is.]

Hyun Joong: humans can't defeat the machines.
Hwang Bo: but humans CREATED the machines.
Hyun Joong: humans created them so that they'd do what humans can't.
Hwang Bo: but still, machines were created by humans.
Hyun Joong: but humans used to be monkeys.

In the recent interview, one of the SS501 members, Kyu Jong also mentioned the same thing, on how different he was Ji Hoo sunbae in the drama, like it’s really opposite towards himself.. I posted the clips along for the view.

 [the comment is around 2:00]

His character, his true-self and his 4-dimensional attitude that will crack you up with laughter and that are actually things that hook me up with him. If I were to judge him based on his acting, of course there’re lots more impressive yet superb Korean actors that he might not be able to catch-up to. If I were able to review him as a good singer, then he’s also not up to that notch. He’s just modest and moderate in its on way. And if people ask me to promote him to the world, I would say he’s not in that world level yet and maybe not ready to face the world as he’s still in the learning phase.

Interviewer: "Do you like the nickname that you're 'Fourth Dimensional'?

KHJ: "I like it now but initially, I thought they meant that I'm like a 'dol-I' (retard/crazy person) so I didn't feel good. I'm interpreting it now as something like 'having unique charms.' (laughs) In that way, I think everyone has some tendencies to be 4th dimensional."

[His 4D responses in an interview regarding his new album]

By knowing his character so far is the key why people love and stick to him this far. So that it, when people asked me why do I like him? Why your mobile wallpaper’s is his? and there’s other people who are more cool and popular, why him? All I can do is smile and smile, because I don’t have the answers either unless you experience the same way as I did since 2009. That was the starting point to everything happen now. Moreover, being a 3-years-old fan also cannot guarantee that you know everything but him and like I said before, I’m not his half-blood sibling to be able to know every single detail.

Of course there’s up and down, head over hills, and the good and bad things happen in his life that also contributes to who he is today. This one long post is not enough to cover the long 3-years of knowing him as Kim Hyun Joong, then maybe this is the start to introduce what’s is more in a person named Kim Hyun Joong itself. Who knows by reading this post, it will turn someone to become Henecia at heart..ekeke.

[Malaysia, Oct 2011]

I who have already turned into an adult,

I go against the opposite because I have a reason.

Not because I want to show how cool that is or how tough I am,
but because I want to prove the truth to my alleged thoughts.

So long as I have confidence and assurance in myself
No matter what others may say or do
It will not suffice if I don’t stick to my own initial thoughts.
Even if that matter may end up wrong,
as long as it’s something I have decided about,
I will prove it firmly and bring it till the end.

-Kim Hyun Joong-

p/s: YES! I know this is long and meaningless post, so?

what do you wanna be?

In my 23 years of life, i still have no idea at all where my life is heading to as everything that i wanna do is less working and i'm tired in hoping and planning. i dont have any life planning right now leave alone in 2 or 3 years or even next year. life has become a robot where you just go with the flow, go to work, back from work and so on. plus, with additional one more burden soon, let see which part of my ship is going to sink first. could it be in educating, working, studying or leisuring life. It's already burden me, really. Feel like suffocate in your own world where you don't know where the escape route is. and sometime fulfilling others expectation is tiresome. Just a rant.

p/s: im hopeless.