i scream out of my lung for Year 1 class today...Yes! i know it's bad! really bad...and my lesson objective cannot be archived for Year 5 lesson...actually for both classes i guess...what happen for me today, i also dun know.
In Year 5 class, i suddenly felt lost...i dunno how to teach them..i can feel they're making judgment towards me...what a thought! even when i said simple things in English pun, still they cannot understand what im saying and yet act like you're already born with English as ur native language!! arrrghhh....geram nye!!! and i hate textbook! y English need to be taught using that horrible textbook! plz3! and why our education is based on the exam oriented! i also not a good English learner...i know to differentiate the using of is, are , was, were when i was in standard 6, and believe me...Westlife songs really help me in my vocab. You can ask my father for the clarification..i used to remember, every morning before i go to school, i will start the car's engine, insert the Westlife cassette into the radio and sing along with the lyrics in my hands. i do it every morning. i know it's not easy to acquire the language...until now i'm also still struggling with it. And im also not perfect! You can see the grammatical errors in the posting or even misspell words in it. sigh~~~
and for Year 1, i feel really sorry and pity for them. There are students who really give full commitment in class. i feel happy with that. i'm not blaming them for always running here and there, for always seeking for my attention in everything they've done, for everything they said about my attitude, or even if they always asking me to go to the toilet hundred times. they still young and still in the playing mode. i always try my best to make them enjoy with English lesson, even though, sometimes i also can't think of any activity that can be used in the class. But please students, this trainee teacher sometimes just need all of you to follow the instructions. i can the frustration in your eyes saying "What a boring English class and activities." but...but...but... in order you to know the language, you need to go thru all that just like i did when i was in standard 1. huhuhu....
believe me, i really want to do anything just to make sure all of you can used the language as much as i do. As English period is only for 1 hour, it's hard for me to focus to eac one of you. Don't tell me other teachers can as they already teachers while i'm a trainee.
in the school, only me and senah is the truly English teachers, meaning born from the English teaching training while others mostly come from the KPLI program. Not that they don't qualified, it's just there're still something lacking in their teaching...and who am i to judge them as i also the trainee...but please teachers.. (as im also remind for myself)..the one who we're teaching right now is our own people. Malay to be specified, the one who's always been label low achiever in English language and proficiency. There's still lacking English teachers in school, it's a fact that can't be deniable nor be argued.What will happen next? i also don't know...just let wait and see if there's any progress with Year 5 class.
soothing words?
p/s: down! n tired! =(
nose bleed alredi!!!
