Wednesday, October 27, 2010

this is LOVE...

guess what i accidently found!!
my background music with vocal...!
was browsing the YT as always, then a friend tweet about something else but this music as the background and with VOCAL!
all this while i though it's only the music along plays by Yiruma...hehe
so let's listen together...

[this one is him himself sings it on Yoo Hee Yeol's Sketchbook show]

[this one is him playing the piano while the vocal sing by Ravin]

p/s : i wish i can play like him...but that's only my hangat-hangat taik ayam... O_O

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

i realise...

i just realise that,

i really do take care of people, but in the same time unconsciously hurting them inside...huhu

i do be very attentive to them with my action, but then i will hurt them too with my acts or even words....

i do care for them without verbally saying it loud, but at the end i failed to make it last long,

i do give good impression to people, but at the end me myself who ruins it...[crash n burn]..

i always be the person who actually to be blame, if the friendship ruins...hmm am i too provoking sometimes?

whatever it is, i just wanna say this out loud, i do care for you people...all of you...sometime it's just me who's really bad in expressing myself, or maybe too good in acting so that people wont know who am i actually...hahaha...

p/s: oh..maybe this is the way i'm actually expressing myself...hahaha
너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


If a head-hunter is someone who’s actually looking for an employee, i would say searching for employers is even harder. Since all my life this time involve being a jobless person, more or less my facebook status, my twitter’s tweets and now my blog entries deals with a jobless people’s rant. I ain’t complaining but i’m sick of it. Now i start to fight with myself on what happen. Should i go for something out of my league, or wait for an opportunity that offers me to be well in my own field? The field that i devoted myself for 4 years in study.

Truth said, i’ve no confidence in following that straight path. I have no confidence in teaching people with my absurd English and have no confidence in dealing the people who actually seeking for the knowledge that me myself think i don’t have anything to offer. Oh! Please understand!

I’m just looking for opportunity to be extra ordinary, and now i’m thinking is it a failure to actually enrolled in course that offer no skills in it? I mean, an engineer student who lack of English skills has something else to offer to the job-world, that is his/her engine skills. English is just a spice that will make the market will go for you and sign you up with them. Then what about, an English student, who’s trying to apply for a job, she has nothing to offer other than an English qualification degree, with no other skills. I have friends in the teaching field also, the reason they’ve been accepted is because they sell their English well. Meaning that, they can acquire the language well compare to mine. [down!!]

OK, i’m mumbling about the language again. Sometime i think, can Bahasa Melayu takes place in everything? Hahaha...of course it’s impossible...!

Hahahaha..ignore my rants. I really felt to vomit it all here as in releasing of what i feel now. It’s not that i don’t like to be educator, but this person is too greedy in looking for something more in her life. Being different from anyone else which she also don’t know how, what, when and where to start it off.

p/s : bla..bla..bla....

crash and burn!

It’s all started 2 weeks ago when i received a phone call late in the evening,

When the caller introduced herself, i’m stiff and numb a while before i could decipher of what actually she’s saying.

I was so excited to get the call and after a brief interview through the phone, she asked me to sit for an aptitude test after Hari Raya.

I told my parents about it , and they objected it in the first place since the job descriptions has nothing to do with my degree qualification. But then i insisted in trying the test for gaining some experience.

To cut thing short, i sit for the test. It was an IQ test with compilation of Math and some problem solving questions. Along with me are 4 other candidates who i believe seeking a job position as mine. Finish with the test, i felt, “Ok..this is it, i’m not going to pass it.’ since i left so many blanks. Next few days, a woman called again said that i passed the test and wonder if i can attend the 1st interview for the position. I was like ‘what?? I did???’ but of course it’s all in mine..and i couldn’t believe it also to what had happen. Once again, i packed my bags, headed to KL once again for a promising future as i believe of course.

I’ve been interviewed by a manager i guess. He’s so kind. Asking questions like you already guess in the beginning, and i stuttered a bit when he mentioned how much do i expected for the salary. Still, after the interview, i do hope for something, but then it’s too good to be true to happen in mind. The atmosphere was very promising and he said i better prepared for 2nd interview after this also. So i was like, Ok another interview to go. It was Monday as I could remember.

On Tuesday, once again a voice of a woman called and asked me for the 2nd interview. I couldn’t believe it! Am i that lucky? Or is it something with me that you need to confirm more? When I’ve been escorted to a room, i’m shock that the interviewer is a foreigner. She also looks nice and i’m shiver. I know her expectation would be higher. Everything went well although i think i screwed with my speaking a bit. What do you expect when having communication with a native speaker, of course she expects you to be well communicate with her.

On Monday, i got a replied e-mail saying, “We regret to inform that you are not through for the shortlisted candidates. It’s because we need candidates with good English communication......and bla...bla..bla...”

DAMN! Been rejected is soo hard! It’s even harder when it’s involve something that you think it’s your field to communicate well in English and at the end, it’s actually fails you.

Not that i’m complaining my English, but YES! I AM! i keep thinking on how to improve my English communication. Can someone send me in the Fed Ex box to English speaking countries so that i can learn mine? I do believe language is something you actually acquire. No matter how hard you learn, you will not be good as the native’s one if you don’t be surrounded by them or even used it in your daily life. So any solutions for me?

p/s: when the fall is too hard, you don't even feel the hurts.

: am i creating story up there? so not me! haha then who is ME?