Sunday, November 27, 2011

fix me...

"otak sedang merasionalkan emosi...."

p/s: the song explained all. hormone's messing up! i hate it!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Le Gra, Westlife.

*SMS received*

Kak Jan: Did you know Westlife is spliting?? It's all over the news and twitter!

Me: Huh?? Where's the news?  (blurrrr) [replied.]

Kak Jan : Twitter, si Liza tweet semalam. [ in reply]

Me: *speechless + mate buntang xleh tido dah*

That's the news that i've received after one week of meeting them live and face to face in Malaysia.
This thing has been speculated long ago and now it's been confirm like really confirm. I haven't write my fan account during the Malaysia visit and yet this coming out them. Truthfully, i'm speechless as in not that-speechless-wanna-cry one but more to speechless; 'this fast? I've just saw you last week and you have this decision all along during the Asia Tour?'

[Taken from their official Facebook.]
Splitting in boyband is not a new thing to be cried for as it happens. Like Kak Jan said, boyband do expired, like what happen to Blue, Take That, or Boyzone. People already talked about it since Bryan left the group in 2003, but they still strong till now. After reviewing the official statement from them, it can be concluded that this is the right time for them to end it themselves as a matter of giving spaces for a new embark-able individual journey for everyone. I believe Shane wants to do business, Nicky might want to venture as an entertainer as he did before as a DJ or MC, Kian might wants to focus on his new family with the born of 'Twinkle" in anytime, while Mark, i have no prediction for Mark (LOL). The reason is too strong as it's for everybody sake not because of they arguing or somebody tried to leave the band again.

It's been 12 years since they have been together, and Shane said they have come this far just because they share the same teenage dreams long time ago and together they want to achive that dream. Westlife is not only a boyband, but it's a growing family with 5 people at first, come down to 4 and now they have expend with the juniors family coming in one after one. It's hard to maintain of course with the growing up children who needed the attention, i think it's a wise decision made by them. It's surprise to see how calm i am dealing with this matter. Not to say i'm not sad, but to what extend should i show or express my sadness over this matter. Better be happy and thinking the positive outcomes from all this matter. If fan feel the lost, then they themselves would be even worst.

I can't explain every inch of what contribution Westlife has turn me so far as it hard to describe through words and i'm not good at it. All i can say half of what i am today is actually what i learn with them, it can be said i grow older with them as from a child who will memorize every lyrics of the songs, bought every albums that they released and how to integrate them in everyday life routine. The name Sha Filan would not exist if there's no Shane Filan, as people always wondering what is it all about. There will be no girl with good English in the primary years, (i repeat primary years not now ) who tried to translate every words that came out from their mouths, or even memorize their countless dialogs in the DVDs. It's all affect me after all. 

I'm not regret for what i've sacrificed and done as a fan. Even better after i finally met them especially Shane Filan in Malaysia earlier this October. It's like a dream come true with unimaginable encounters with them all along while they're here. I come to notice that Shane and Nicky are very friendly, Kian can be a little moody and Mark can be both. Of course i will post up my fan account for that as it's a lots of things to be shared and i also have promised to my concert partner, Dhiya to put it up.

Well Westlife, though it's the end of WESTLIFE, but it's already live it up in me. I already used to the wordings, the names, the songs, and even the hazel eyes that Shane has.LOL. Not to mention, the last gift that he left me before he flew off from Malaysia. i would always believe that once you're a fan, you would always be one no matter how many others come and go. If one day you're going to make a comeback just because you're already broke, don't worry i will still support all of you like before. hahaha.

Till then,

Le Gra, Go Deo,
 Sha Filan xxx

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Life of a fangirl...

p/s : Not saying it is happening to me, just to say it's happen. ^^

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Blogging isn’t writing. It’s graffiti with punctuation

Dr. Ian Sussman:
Contagion Quote

p/s: Nope! i havent watch the movie yet...lalalala...

sweepin' the blocks

Notice the so-called-long-meaningless post down there? Yes, that's the effort in welcoming a new mood to the word w.r.i.t.i.n.g. It's like a taboo words for now, as it's been a long time i don't write anything, be it an essay the hardest or even a blogpost the easiest. And i realized, writing is very important not only  to express yourself but more towards my current life right now that requires me to write up about everything. Well maybe it's not engage in a full mode but sooner or later it will as my study already starts today [grapssss...].

So, as for the start in removing all the-so-called w.r.i.t.e.r.'.s.b.l.o.c.k, lets starts with something that i like and wants to talk. It's easy and you will get a very colourful and video-lize post [ekeke..bragged] Though it's annoying to have that kind of post and somehow i'm positive i will get a negative feedback upon it, why don't you just enjoy what's been presented as i am.

The semester has ended by the way. i mean the teaching period. Now, the students are busy preparing for their finals and English will be their first 'killer' subject that they will face tomorrow. If you read this, then Best of Luck to you guys! Tho, i don't think they will...ekekeke. Up to the last class, the only comment that i got from them are still the same responses from the first class, "i'm worried about my English". "Am i going to fail?" " Are you going to help us?" "How am i going to write an essay?" The evil me would say, now we're in the last class and you asked me these kind of crap? It's not their fault actually. As for me, learning English is like a life-time learning. There are always something new that you can learn everyday if you allow yourself to be exposed to lots of English. It's just you really need passion in order to do it. Lets say you want to improve the language by reading English newspaper everyday, then how long will it last? As for me, i honestly said i rarely read English newspapers due to maybe i am too busy [busy la sangat!] or i find it very boring. That's why i said, try to find something that you are enjoyed with like watching tv or movie but make sure it's in English subtitle. Then you may be able to grab something out of the dialogue. For example, one day i heard Azeem shouted from the toilet calling for my father, "Abah, is that you?" in English! I mean the 6-years-old Azeem! I don't know if he got it from watching 'PowerPuff Girls' or 'Chowder'. That's is the development i'm talking about. It's a simple phrase, but how many of you can say exactly the same phrase when you're 6 years old, hands up, i'm not either. If you used to the language, it will naturally comes to you in any form, be it in writing and speaking. The exposure itself is very important. Chitravelu once said in her book, babies learn to speak by listen to what's been said to them. Like you always said to a baby, 'papa' 'mama', of course the words would registered in their brain and they're able to pronounce it in the first place.

Okey, now drop the theory in there as it become serious suddenly...hehe..i'm happy that i'm been able to write this long, up to this level but still im learning and improving myself for better and worst. Of course there's a jealousy in me when i read others blogs as they have so many things to talk about and their instructions are perfectly well explained in wordings which i'm lack to. Hey, a person can change if she wants. All she needs to do is removed all the blockage and stop procrastinating then you will see a brand new you. You may be look so ordinary on the outside, without you realize your own potential as yourself.

Note to self: i'm happy invigilating exams! i'm happy invigilating exams! sigh...~~

who is he?

Who is he?

Sexy back..ohh  -JT-

If anybody who’s with me maybe know who is he and as for others maybe they’re just wonder why im too stick to him. And for people outside the circle also maybe recognize him as the man with the golden hair and cold blooded characters as he portrayed in his previous dramas. Or how people asked me why on earth you like him, the one who’s so ‘keras’ when acting. However, it ain’t enough to evaluate a person through a series that he stared in. But, I respect others opinions as it’s theirs plus I have no blood-related or what so ever to the person but only the relationship of a fan with the idol.

Even my parents now know how to pronounce his Korean name without stuttered, of course in a way to tease me or to trap me with the ‘gotcha’ tone if I’m so secretive about something. Have you wonder who he actually is other than just by seeing him on your flat screen been somebody else’s character or just by know his name? What makes me no difference with other fans who value him so much as he is now?

Way before being an actor, he is a singer and a leader in a boy band called SS501 and up until now he still is a singer. They are an established idol groups since debut in the year for 2005 and up until now. As most people know him from his drama Boys Over Flower (BOF) (yes, he’s the one with the golden hair) and then moved to Mischievous Kiss (MK) (and yes, he’s the one with the cold-blooded attitude), I knew him during BOF period. During the BOF time, I don’t fancy him as the ‘Ji Hoo sunbae’ but my attention of course focused on the lead that time, Lee Min Ho.

After watched BOF, one of my friends actually passed me a bunch collection of ‘We Got Married’ show. Generally, it’s a TV reality show where an idol could be a singer or an actor/actress been paired up to be a husband and wife for a period of time. During that time, they need to act as a married couple who live together during the show but still continue career as usual. So he’s participated in this show and had been paired up with a female singer, Hwang Bo. Then, I know who actually this Kim Hyun Joong is. He is not who he is in those characters. 

[most of the clips in here are from WGM years, so maybe you can have a glimpse how the show is.]
Hyun Joong: humans can't defeat the machines.
Hwang Bo: but humans CREATED the machines.
Hyun Joong: humans created them so that they'd do what humans can't.
Hwang Bo: but still, machines were created by humans.
Hyun Joong: but humans used to be monkeys.
In the recent interview, one of the SS501 members, Kyu Jong also mentioned the same thing, on how different he was Ji Hoo sunbae in the drama, like it’s really opposite towards himself.. I posted the clips along for the view.

 [the comment is around 2:00]

His character, his true-self and his 4-dimensional attitude that will crack you up with laughter and that are actually things that hook me up with him. If I were to judge him based on his acting, of course there’re lots more impressive yet superb Korean actors that he might not be able to catch-up to. If I were able to review him as a good singer, then he’s also not up to that notch. He’s just modest and moderate in its on way. And if people ask me to promote him to the world, I would say he’s not in that world level yet and maybe not ready to face the world as he’s still in the learning phase.
Interviewer: "Do you like the nickname that you're 'Fourth Dimensional'?
KHJ: "I like it now but initially, I thought they meant that I'm like a 'dol-I' (retard/crazy person) so I didn't feel good. I'm interpreting it now as something like 'having unique charms.' (laughs) In that way, I think everyone has some tendencies to be 4th dimensional."
[His 4D responses in an interview regarding his new album]

By knowing his character so far is the key why people love and stick to him this far. So that it, when people asked me why do I like him? Why your mobile wallpaper’s is his? and there’s other people who are more cool and popular, why him? All I can do is smile and smile, because I don’t have the answers either unless you experience the same way as I did since 2009. That was the starting point to everything happen now. Moreover, being a 3-years-old fan also cannot guarantee that you know everything but him and like I said before, I’m not his half-blood sibling to be able to know every single detail.

Of course there’s up and down, head over hills, and the good and bad things happen in his life that also contributes to who he is today. This one long post is not enough to cover the long 3-years of knowing him as Kim Hyun Joong, then maybe this is the start to introduce what’s is more in a person named Kim Hyun Joong itself. Who knows by reading this post, it will turn someone to become Henecia at heart..ekeke.

[Malaysia, Oct 2011]

I who have already turned into an adult,
I go against the opposite because I have a reason.
Not because I want to show how cool that is or how tough I am,
but because I want to prove the truth to my alleged thoughts.
So long as I have confidence and assurance in myself
No matter what others may say or do
It will not suffice if I don’t stick to my own initial thoughts.
Even if that matter may end up wrong,
as long as it’s something I have decided about,
I will prove it firmly and bring it till the end.
-Kim Hyun Joong-

p/s: YES! I know this is long and meaningless post, so?

Monday, August 15, 2011

what do you wanna be?

In my 23 years of life, i still have no idea at all where my life is heading to as everything that i wanna do is less working and i'm tired in hoping and planning. i dont have any life planning right now leave alone in 2 or 3 years or even next year. life has become a robot where you just go with the flow, go to work, back from work and so on. plus, with additional one more burden soon, let see which part of my ship is going to sink first. could it be in educating, working, studying or leisuring life. It's already burden me, really. Feel like suffocate in your own world where you don't know where the escape route is. and sometime fulfilling others expectation is tiresome. Just a rant.

p/s: im hopeless.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

They're coming....!!

After 11 years of waiting, WESTLIFE's coming to Malaysia!!! [wooot....wooottt]

I was actually screamed a bit when i saw Mark tweeted the details of the Asia tour thru his twitter and the news become a hot topic for a while as everybody actually anticipating for it.

They're coming here maybe for the the new album, 'Gravity' promotion where i havent even download the songs, let alone in buying the cd. Actually, i missed 3 of their records in my collection, and the songs also feels alienated to me. But, hey...hey... Mr.Shane voice is still the best yo.! ekeke... and to add up the hot & spicy to this juicy news, Sony Music Malaysia also posted the early details about it in their FB .

Like i said it's been 11 years for me and others. It's like from childhood memories and suddenly it's about to come true. Most of my friends even said is Westlife still exist after all this while? Well IT IS of course! Up till now, i really think i can gather a 'rombongan mak kiah' to tag along for this. hahaha...

p/s: waiting for the seating layout...^^ and hoping my money tree grows very well on October.^^


I'm here!!!!
Looks like the writing mode kicks off when i have caffeine for a day. I did slurp for double shot for tonight as a matter of staying up late and finishing what's supposed to be finished.

It's been almost 1 month im in the new work place. Everything's fine as for now and i feel so much worried as this is the big institution where everything is counted and everyone wants to be part of it. Not to doubt about the previous place, but i actually can compare it now. Not going to brag about the system or stuff but prefer more on the teaching and the students.

I've been given to teach 2 subjects that involve students from semester 1 and 3. For semester 1, it will focus more on grammar while semester 3 is all about writing. Both skills that i'm lacking off in my own-self. I must say that this time i really do the teaching part as i have time to study and make sure that the students understand what they have been presented with. It reminds me back at the old place where I've got to teach 5 subjects all together in one semester, let alone their level and semesters. It's all mess-up. It come to the sense that is it for quality or quantity. I can say that my previous teaching has no quality at all, as you've been burden with lots of unrelated things plus the killing teaching loads which hardly makes me focus into the classroom preparation. Now i felt that i should have make the classroom activity and teaching works on them.

Education is not about making money and such. It's about how you make the students learn something in your class and how they response towards your teaching. It's hard as being an educator it involves to educate and shaping them in becoming a human being. So do not label the teacher for whatever they are because sometime it's stressful in order to make a normal human understand what you are talking about. AND teaching do not involve any medium. It can revolve in any places in the world as along as your knowledge is shared.

Though this new place is established and well-known, the English level is just the same as the students still struggle with that 2nd language. I have encounter the weak students in class where they can't even pronounce the simple words or their slang is the barrier to the speaking. So it's just the same be in here or there, people struggle with it, as i hope i would have done better there.

what am i talking about?? I dont know either...lalalala....

p/s: english is bad too as im also learning and im not the native have problems with that?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Lie To Me...

I'm sure i should not be posting this up and it's like so suddenly out of nowhere the urge to write come and this time i self-surrender to what i feel. I'm actually in the middle of translating the Episode 4 of 'OneDay' as it needs to be submitted by (tonight?tomorrow?) haha i dont know already, as long as my second boss will see this trans in her email by tomorrow morning and it means no sleep for me as it's just 2/5 of it done?. Yes, i love and miss the feeling of writing without having any restriction to what you're going to put on your post.

In keeping up with my sleepy head, i'm just doing the translating while watching new drama, crazy ait? it's really makes my work slower on the left side while the eyes are glued to the right side even more, but it couldn't be helped. It's just a sadpy sloopy love story as always, where he dumped her then comes new girl and then she's coming back and he wants her back and leave the other 'she' clueless on what actually happen. (cliche already) It just reminds me back on Kim Samsoon, as in here we have Yoon Eun Hye, way better compare to Samsoon but the storyline is quite the same. Yes, i did watched it because of YEH all the way but half way of the episodes, i googled for Kang Ji Hwan. Like i said, it's juat a simple, cliche ,predictable love story but i just love it. It's still getting in sense on how typical waman fall
for a man but the man still in the memories of the other woman. Sigh~~~ life's hard. My fave quote would be, it's the matter on living and starting new life or living with your hunted past memories that will hurt you soon as if the wound would heal.

[leftrightleftright @_@]

Getting until this paragraph, i dont know what i'm rambling about, it's just i need to say what you have read. If you dont understand, then don't be. It's not for information or something. If you do understand, thank you for reading. Maybe i do miss this blog really much. Though it's nothing, but at least it has something that others done, it's a my life journey as well. So better to keep it live and continue writing or just let it dead and rarely open it, it's all my choice. And it's clearly that making a choice is not an easy things do and it's getting complicated when it's involve many parties. Till then, that's all i wanna say.

p/s: i think my hormone ain't stable yet. =.='
: do i sort of missed the [click, cling and pang?] <-------help me 'Azril', what's urs?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


coming back soon....? (>.<')

Saturday, March 26, 2011

procrastinating...'s me!!! (sweeping all the dusk here...)
i hate of writing, 'it's been a while' and IT IS!! i'm always a lazy bum, and when i can't make my thought to get out from my brain thru my skull and on this blog, then i'm a failure. See how the topic of today's posting? yes! i'm procrastinating over other important things that should be done and finished maybe last week? Now i understand the underlying meaning of this word when my friend, Tasha keep using it before.


by means: is putting off or avoiding doing something that must be done.

And right now, i'm suppose to revise the notes for the subjects that i'm going to teach next semester but i havent done it yet and i'm avoiding it by updating this blog and going to give a full rant about it. I bought home all the books that related to the subjects, go through the syllabus, marked which page i should going thru again and still i'm stuck in shortening the info into a neat notes. Can i just read it and not preparing any notes for the students? new way of teaching is i love torturing them in writing it out instead of me giving the photocopied ones.

Speaking of next semester, it's a short sem but i've got 4 subjects to cover it all and i can feel how a dead meat i am in order to prepare all the subjects. C'mon guys, if possible they want to squeeze all the English subjects in this semester and my total of teaching load would be 26 hours/week. it's PACKED! no more internet, no more running man and no more twitter i believe. but..but..but... it's all a timetable and on a paper, who know what might actually happen during the course...ekekeke...not going to spoil it here.

I've been thinking lately how i'm still here, in the place where i used to think that i will leave it in a short period of time but now, i'm still continuing till the 2nd semester. Even my friend already quit and already gone back to her hometown for better a future. I never brag about it before, as i don't what should i say. Though, everybody will advice me to stay there and gain something from the experince and i believe i am doing it now. i don't know how serious, or hopeless or drained this upcoming 6 weeks will be, but we shall wait and see the outcomes.

Procrastination, running circles in my head.
While you sit there contemplating,
You wound up left for dead (left for dead)
Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses.
Another day, another casualty.
And that won't happen to me.....

p/s: how i love being able to write in here.....T_T

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

life is like a drama, but it's not perfect as it is.

it's been a while...and i think i keep saying those words in every posting of mine lately. Not that i'm not aware of it, it's's really been a while..i miss writing here, but the time constrains really bugs me now days.. i don't know what actually I'm doing that makes myself so busy and stuff. and like before, works will never be finished.

Sometimes in order to escape the reality, you just need to create your own fantasy where you;ll be really comfortable in it. Ignore anybody who don't understand yours, as long as you feel fine and happy in what your doing. the pass weeks, tho I'm busy, but i've been spoil with dramas. two perfect dramas that i think or most of us would have a thought to be one of these characters in it. how the heroin got to meet the gorgeous man, even though how ugly or clumsy or even boyish she is, there's still a handsome tall man will chase after her and will do anything to get her attention. That's the typical drama that you'll be seeing everyday. Taking about real life, we do have our own drama in our own script. it's just that you don't know how the story of your life will lead you further. seeing the character cried, you also cried along with them, as if you really understand how it feels to be what they feel that time. When it comes to the hero, everything seems perfect. He's the man of your dream. The great imagination and the perfect human being in the world. But, the sadden thing is the role is just a creation made by the writer.

Life hasn't been this perfect, there must be some way that you will also get hurt the most. A time when you feel really down that you don't have any energy to face the day, or even a time when you really want to deeply fall in love like any other people but you just can't. Just because you're in a reality world when anything can't be predicted. Sometimes you always feels to be in other people shoes like adoring how perfect their life could be, but at the end you just have to be grateful for who you are because your living on this earth must have a great reason that sooner or later you will know the meaning underlying the life that's been given by Him. Poorly, we are just who we are. and they are also who they are. This is the life...this is the reality that we must face everyday...^^

p/s : too many perfect storylines struck in the head sometimes can make me drown by it...T_T

Friday, January 7, 2011

webby speedy web....

the last ranted about me finding a job was on 5th October 2010...and today is actually 7th January 2011 and im employed! my posting thru this blog would be only ONE post for each month back?? so pathetic....! How to cure this pathetic-ness? [ade ke words tu? haha]

Sorting back of the past is good! and you actually can laugh about it. how funny, mad, crazy and upside down ur life is...and i'm thankful THIS not-so-'alive' blog did stored something that i think i wouldn't even remember if i don't wrote it in here.

Yesterday, i had lots of things in mind. Just because i read the newspaper..haha how busy life can be even u can't read at all...huhuh.. and at this moment i realise working's suck!! got tons of work to do and even has to come on weekends, but the pay is SMALL! When i said's really is!! T_T hardly catching up with one thing, you already got another things to settle... =( Just leave the work thingy here...cause the load would never finish.

Back to lots of thought in mind...., yes...i still have it ..unorganised and need to write down on paper first as always..hahaha looks soo serious isn't it? but, it;s actually works. i can't write about something without drafting it first on papers, lets just said the paper and i have the connection...not forgetting the pen. haha then how you're going to be a journalist or editor?? <------itu belakang kire!

*trying to clean the webby speedy web* haha

So guy, this girl has nothing to put up here. this is also a random one since i posted the last photo here, and the i realise about the lack of updating. Though, i'm sure there's not many people will stop by here...but still it's something good to share..ahaha...ape-apela...will moved this lazzy butt to work more and be more hardworking!! erk??!

p/s i'm turning to one year older.....O_Y


this pic is toooooooooo big in resolution that you could only see half? of it...haha...

p/s was trying on how to hotlink actually..hahaha...